The problem with
Christmas is not that I hate it so much, but that I love it so much.
I get these idealized romantic ideas in my head. Christmas shopping
for instance. The last two years I've tried to make a tradition out
of going shopping with my wife. In my head, I see us taking a trip to
the big city, spending the day together, shopping, eating, hanging
out in cool Christmas-y places and getting in the spirit of the
moment.
But what is the
spirit of the moment? Does anyone even decorate anymore? In my mind,
I imagine vast Christmas displays, a Hollywood wonderland of sight
and sound with bell-ringing santas and Salvation Army bands playing
carols and carriage rides and ice skating and booths selling eggnog
and Christmas treats and... In my mind, I picture armfuls of brightly
wrapped gifts and snowflakes...
And then we go
shopping. Invariably we end up in a strip mall, a shopping mall or a
big box store and everything looks the same. Walmart, Best Buy,
Barnes and Noble—they all look the same no matter what city you're
in or the time of the year. The stores don't bother decorating—it
would apparently ruin their corporate identity and add a few pennies
of overhead--and the place is filled with slightly desperate,
basically unhappy people served by underpaid, unhappy clerks. There
is nothing festive about any of it.
And the
merchandise... In my head I want to see displays of elaborate toy
landscapes. Model trains and happy salesmen flying airplanes and
helicopters. I want to see toy stores full of toys actually
entertaining and amazing people. Instead we have Toys R Us: yet
another big box filled with cheap, unimaginative garbage. I bet 90
percent of everything in that place was tied to a movie or television
franchise. What the hell ever happened to knights and castes? Cowboys
and Indians and forts? Pirates and ships? Barns and cows? As a
society, if we can't be creative and imaginative in the toy industry.
What hope is there?
Due to the
Walmart homogenization of America, there is nothing unique about
anything. Or any day.
At the end of
the day, we've spent hundreds of dollars and not bought anything we
couldn't have got at the Walmart two miles from our house. There is
not a single purchase that is unique or special. No aha!
moment when you're not only found the unique gift, but something that
surprised and amazed yourself as well.
This is
Christmas today. This is America: filled to the brim with cheap,
unimaginative goods designed to eek out a few extra pennies from the
bottom line but devoid of soul and festive spirit. I respectfully
withdraw. Next year I will be shopping locally, mostly thrift stores,
and online. Black Friday will be spent in my Santa boxers in front of
the computer screen with a bottle of Irish cream and a plate of
Christmas cookies. It might not be my idealized Hollywood version of
holiday shopping, but I'm going to be festive as hell...
